Ah, issue #10. Ten down, thirteen to go…
Enjoy!
Fanzines:What I miss about the old days of paper fanzines.
Blue Velvet: The best movie ever is out on DVD. Again.
They're back: some Boston band are back...
Pixies on DVD: you beauty!
British Summertime: a book by Paul Cornell.
Film 23: Shaun of the Dead.
Fatso's Foto: who has had their picture taken with a small furry wombat this time...?
Around the World With Timmy 2Hedz Part Four: the latest "update" on his travels...
Randomness and Randomosity. All the stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else...
Copyright and all that malarkey... Copyright. Malarkey. You know.
Do you know what I miss most of all about doing a paper fanzine? More even than actually producing a physical, tangible product each month? I miss contact. With a paper zine distributed by post, to get the zine each month every single reader had to send me an SAE and some pennies (and then most people got free copies anyhow), and in with each request there would be a letter of varying length. Some would be very short, brief, “here’s the SAE send me the next one” type of letters, but other would go on for pages, telling me about what they thought of the zine, of bands they liked, of things I should write about, about how Timmy 2Hedz was a sexist wanker, about shoes, about Sarah, about everything. Now I’m lucky to get a single e-mail each month. Maybe it’s because of the non-tangible and ephemeral nature of an e-mail that makes people think that it’s not a good idea to e-mail. modestic isn’t PopBitch, you know… I don't bite!
And mixtapes. Oh, I miss those. The joy of hearing songs that you’d never heard, by bands long gone, by bands that did one single and then split up, radio sessions, all sorts.
So here’s your mission;
Make me a mixtape, or a mix-CD, with all your favourite songs on. Tell me about the great new bands that are out there that I’ve not heard of, of your obscure classic favourites. Bung them all on that tape or CD and send it to me. And I’ll send you back a mix-CD of all my favourites (I’ll try to avoid too easy to find things).
If you want to do this send an e-mail to this address (as they’ll get too lost amongst my regular e-mail) and I’ll tell you my address.
Go on. It’ll be fun…
And so it came to be that Blue Velvet was released on DVD. Again. Long term readers of my fanzines will know how much I adore Blue Velvet, but for those of you who don’t know, here is the whole of the review of it I wrote when there was a David Lynch season at a local cinema;
“This is the best movie ever made. Munch Mark 10.”
(You see, I used the traditional “marks out of ten” ratings then…)
This is the third time I’ve bought Blue Velvet on DVD. The first was the average second UK release (the first had no extras and was released before I had a player), with a 45 minute Dennis Hopper interview and a fairly average print. The second was the US Special Edition release with a David Lynch approved print transfer, a documentary, a feature on the now lost deleted scenes (oh, if they could track these down…), and a Siskel & Ebert review. The third is this UK Special Edition one…
The film itself is sourced from the same transfer as the US version so looks glorious. You get the inevitable PAL 4% speedup, though, but the US has the inevitable 3:2 pulldown, so neither is truly perfect. (The perfect way to watch any film is via a projector. All other ways are inferior. Fact.)
Extras are completely different from the US edition, with 15 minutes of a BBC programme called “Moving Pictures”, which features contributions by people such as the novelist JG Ballard (to hear him talk about BV is wonderous indeed). Also there is contemporary footage of Lynch talking about the film, which is all you’ll see of him on this disk…
Strange Dreams is the main extra, a 30 minute piece on the making of the film. Unfortunately Lynch is absent for this, but even so it still managed to tell an obsessive like me a couple of things I never knew; for one, that the pianist when Dorothy sings Blue Velvet is Angelo Badalamenti.
To be honest, if you only buy one copy of Blue Velvet, you should really go for the US Special Edition; the extras on it give it the edge. But if you can’t play US disks, this version is truly essential (heck, I’d say it’s essential to have the pair of them).
Blue Velvet is a true work of genius by the greatest movie director there has ever been. No DVD collection is complete without it. Thus far, Blue Velvet is quite literally the only movie ever to give me a nightmare. And for that alone it deserves the highest of praise. Rating: wombat.
To quote the little girl from Poltergeist 2.
So, I arrived home and found a packet from America which felt like a CD. "Who's been sending me CDs?" I thought as I glanced at the word "DiscLive". About .1257014 seconds later I whoop with delight as I realised what it is.
It's the CD of the live recording of the first of the Pixies gigs. First gig in what, 12 years?
Yeah, I could have downloaded it from the internet by now, yeah I could still download others. But where's the fun in that? No, this is something proper. A real CD for which the Pixies will get a small slice of my money. This matters.
All the while when I'm listening to it, I'm grinning from ear to ear. Even when there are a couple of bum notes in Bone Machine, even when Black Francis gets the lines to the first verse of Here Comes Your Man out of order. It's the best band ever. And they're back. And, most importantly of all, they are still the best.
That I can get so excited about a CD on which the newest song was written 13 years ago at the latest speaks volumes for music today. I doubt any other record I get this year will give me the sheer pleasure of this first listen. Pixies are still as alive and vibrant and exciting and wonderful and important as they ever were. I had my doubts initially about whether or not this reunion would work, but these doubts have been blown away (dyswidt) by just the one listen to this CD.
And I think that is the only time I'll listen to it for the time being. I want to be fresh for the four gigs in June. I can honestly say, that in all my years of gig going, the anticipation of these gigs is greater than any other in the past (well, except maybe my first ever gig in October 1990, seeing a certain band...).
They've still got it. Boy, have they still got it.
Pixies, there; the best band in the world.
And now would be a good time to mention the Pixies DVD, released by 4ad to cash in on the reunion tour.
There’s four things on it;
1 – The promo videos. Ah, seeing the Monkey Gone to Heave video for the first time in fifteen years brought back all those Chart Show memories, for this was how I discovered then; a grainy black and white video, with random shots of the band playing, some normal, some slow mo. And then you get to “Rock me joe” and just for a second it’s both in colour and in sync. The actual videos themselves are a mixed bag, Velouria is frankly the worst pop video ever (at least as far as the pictures go). Best of the bunch, though is the Debaser video which really does capture the look of the Pixies’ records visually. You look at it and it just seems perfect for the song.
2 – The recording of their first ever UK gig in 1988 at the Town & Country Club (whatever did happen to that; was that the one that the NME campaigned to stop its closure?) which is positively electrifying. The selection of songs is pretty much just first two albums, plus you get Wild Honey Pie and a single Doolittle song, Hey.
3 – Gouge; the Channel 4 documentary from a couple of years ago, the only criticism of which I have is that there was no involvement from Kim. Otherwise it’s a pretty comprehensive overview of the band, and for once the “celebs talking heads” format works, as they chose the right celebs to talk! I mean, any docu that opens with David Bowie giving his opinion of the Pixies has got to be doing something right…
4 – On The Road, which is a truly fascinating look behind the scenes as the band go on their 1989 tour. Shot on a camcorder by a friend of the band, it shows alls sorts of stuff. You get all sorts of banter, rehearsals, bits of gigs, tourbus stuff “it is the Arc of Triumph” etc. Actually seeing the band in their natural environment, relaxing, chatting nonsense to each other, is very revealing. I just love it to bits.
Heck, I just love the whole DVD to bits. You know, Pixies are the best band in the world. This is a DVD of Pixies. Thus this is the best music DVD in the world (well, possibly at least until that Amelia Fletcher bands DVD, anyway…). Rating: wombat.
(Oh, and don’t bother buying the new “best of”, just buy the seven individual CDs and you’ll get pretty much everything they ever released…)
British Summertime - Paul Cornell
I've always been suspicious of the blurbs you get on books that say how great they are. Paul Cornell's British Summertime has quotes like "One of the most relentlessly imaginative books I have ever read." and "A unique and powerful novel." Which are impressive sounding, especially when you consider that the former quote is by Steven Moffat, and the latter by Russell T Davies; both talented writers themselves. Both also are good friends of a certain Paul Cornell... Can you trust the opinion of friends? Would they not be biased in favour of their friend? I'll let you be the judge.
Cornell's published work has thus far mainly been Doctor Who books of varying quality. There's the utter fanwank of Timwyrm: Revelation and Happy Endings, the workmanlike No Future and Shadows of Avalon, to the superb Love & War and Human Nature. A mixed bag.
British Summertime is his second non-TV tie in novel. The first, Something More, I got about halfway through and felt no great compulsion to carry on further. British Summertime is rather better. It's one of those books that takes the world we are used to and introduces something a bit off kilter into it. Here we have a pilot of the future and his companion, a head on some kind of life support system, and a quartet of golden men with swords for tongues. These golden men have been manipulating history so that the past that Leyton (the pilot of the future) has read about in history books is not the past we live in, and in which the novel is set.
There is some greatness in this novel, yet by the end I felt a little unsatisfied. I'll probably have to read it again, but the ending seemed anticlimactic and almost rushed, which is somewhat of a shame as in the early and middle stages of the book, when its mysteries are revealed, you get swept along at some speed, eager to read what happens next to find out if it's the future that's wrong, or the present.
You should, without doubt, have a read of it though.
Rating: owl.
Shaun of the Dead
Yeah, I know, I’ve been very lax with cinema reviews; mainly ‘cos these days I hardly ever seem to go.
Anyhow. Shaun of the Dead.
It’s been described as a “rom-zom-com” in that it’s a romantic zombie comedy, which is I suppose by far and away the best description anyone could pin on it. It’s the product of the brains behind the TV series Spaced, and exhibits many of the qualities present in that show.
As a blend of the genres it is very good. There’s romance. Yup. There’s zombies. Yup. And boy is there comedy…
These days British cinema comedy tends to be of the Richard Curtis/Hugh Grant style. Not this. Shaun of the Dead is as far from that as possible.
The film unwinds at a perfect pace, from the opening shots of bored checkout girls mindlessly scanning item after item with a glazed expression on their faces to the unexpected denouement, it never seems to go too fast or plod along. There are many superb moments, with blink and you’ll miss them cameos from some of the cream of the comedy talent around.
With a superb main cast, a witty script, and stylish direction, SOTD is really a film that you must go and see. Now. Rating: kookaburra.
#3 – Simon Price
Writer of that book about the Manics, Everything Must Go. Stay Beautiful DJ.
Around the World With Timmy 2Hedz
Part 4 – Timmy Down Under
I've always gone by the theory that if you're having lots of fun you don't really get the time to write about it... which is why this piece is so short.
Basically, I arrived in Oz, Perth, at the beginning of March and booked into the Coolibah Lodge initially for only 2 nights. Within 3 hours of checking in I was out getting pissed with the receptionist and 'networking' with the other guests... result!
And now it's about 5 weeks later and every single night since has been an absolute corker. The people here are no doubt the most friendly and sociable people on the planet, always willing to lend a beer and help make a knob of themselves. I blended right on in.
But alcohol abuse and the random bed-hopping habits of those around me can only last for so long before it starts to take it's toll, and I've teamed up with 2 other guys and a girl, bought a crappy car and finally escaped the clutches of the Coolibah to head North up the West coast, in a last final attempt at re-hab.
I'd love to tell you about of the lovely sights I've seen, but descriptions of the inside of nightclubs and hostel dorm rooms isn't going to be a very interesting read. So I won't. Use your imaginations and combine all your favourite Saturday nights out into one long fun-filled month.
Fan-bleedin-tastic.
Now it's time to slow down a bit, lay of the booze and take in a bit of culture. And hopefully meet up with Chrissy again in about a month to see if we can travel with eachother without trying to kill eachother - which would be nice.
Anyway, gotta go, I'm off to the pub. Tee hee.
Monkeyboy Tim
xXx
Timmy on the Telly: if you can bear the excitement, Timmy 2Hedz and Pristine Christine can be seen on the Channel 4 TV show Up Your Street. Timmy reckons he’s on today, May the 4th, but the listings on the Radio Times website say Thursday the 6th. Either way, he’ll be on. So keep a sharp lookout…
Accrington Stanley Update: The Stan finished the season in a very respectable 10th position. Considering this was their first season after promotion, that’s not too bad at all. Next year it’ll be promotion to Division 3 of the League, you’ll see…
How Does It Feel To Be Loved?: best club around. Where else can you get PUNK Girl, Debaser and I Would Fix You played in the same night? Quite, quite superb. Take a look...
April Fools: It seems that no-one noticed the April Fools’ Day joke in the last issue. Ah, well…
Glastonbury Tickets: I had to chuckle as yet again farce and fiasco struck the Glastonbury ticket line & website once more. And I chuckled even more when Michael Eavis said that next year he’d get people to write in, pull their names out of a hat and whoever was pulled out would be allowed to buy tickets. This “low tech” lottery method will apparently be fairer. So, essentially this low tech lottery replaces what was, in effect, a high tech lottery. Ho-hum. Fact is, there are more people that want to go than there are tickets, so no matter how they are sold some people will not get tickets. So whether this is because of an overloaded website, engaged phonelines, or because they’re not pulled out of a hat, they will be disappointed. No system will ever be able to cope as there is simply too much demand.
Caron Keating: I can’t have been the only one to be completely gobsmacked by the (apparently) sudden death of the ex-Blue Peter presenter. It just came totally out of the blue. When I first heard it on the Radio 2 news at work for a second it just didn't sink in, as I was only half listening at the time. I had to wait for the next news just to confirm that what I thought I'd heard was right. And sadly it was.
Memo to self: must write more stuff that isn't reviews...
Final Thought #9: a very easy one that. It was of course a line from Dancing The Manta Ray, by The Pixies. This month’s is a little trickier… First name out of the hat this month was Coling Campbell, who wins something. Anyhow, tell me where this month’s is from and win something. Just send an e-mail to finalthought@unlimitedricepudding.com.
Copyright and all that malarkey…
modestic is © 2003 Ash Stewart. All articles are © to whoever is credited with them. All uncredited items are © Ash Stewart. The address for all correspondence, be it praise, criticism, death threats, missing episode hoaxes, pictures of wombats, articles, anything is this one or alternatively that one...
modestic issue #10 was edited by Ash Stewart and was written by Ash Stewart, Timmy 2Hedz and Fatso, the wombat.
Thanks to: wombats. This e-zine can be forwarded on to whoever you so wish on the proviso that nothing in it is removed, added to, or altered in any way. In fact I positively encourage you to forward it! If you were forwarded this e-zine by a friend and wish to sign up for it yourself go here.
If you no longer wish to receive this e-zine go here Don't go sending me whinging e-mails asking me why I'm sending you "all this crap"; it's 'cos you asked for it, you imbecile!
Contributions are always welcome for modestic. You can write about exactly what you like. Any subject at all. It does not matter if I agree with what you write or not, if it's well written it goes in. Freedom of speech is one of the cornerstones of modestic, as is change and renewal… Do not feel at all restrained or restricted by the things you have seen so far in modestic; just write about what you know, and It'll slot in seamlessly... Even if what you have in mind is clearly opposite to what I think of something, as long as it's wells written and vaguely coherent, it'll get in
And YES, the ratings system does make sense! So there! (Acutally, I'm thinking of having a different one each issue. Maybe #11 will have one based on beans...)
You can chat about this issue of modestic on the message board But you won’t.
You can see old back issues of that old fanzine Munching Carpet, if you are at all interested, here... At present you can see Issues #1-3. Issue #4 was supposed to have been up by now. But isn't. It will be some time. Be patient with me...
Issue 11 of modestic will be e-mailed out as soon after the June Pixies gigs as is humanly possible and will be The Pixies comeback special, in which I’ll spend lots of time saying how great the Pixies are. Oh, it’s so good to be able to say that the Pixies are the best band in the world, rather than were…
And I'm quite sure it will be even an even better issue than this one!
modestic is a free e-zine, for which I have no intention of ever charging. It would be way too much hassle for a start. However, if you should ever feel suitably impressed that you actually want to pay some money for it (not that I think this is at all likely, but stranger things have happened), then you can pay to my PayPal account which is fatso_the_wombat@hotmail.com.
Final thought: I look forward to old age, grey hair all the rage.