Yeah, I know. It’s late. I said about the 18th of December, and now, well, it’s a little later than that. So shoot me. It’s not like you care anyway. You might care about this issue. You might not. Paragraph 3 is way more exciting than anything else in this issue, anyway.

After a very anorak orientated issue last time, this one is very much a music issue, what with no less than 4 gig reviews, and the announcement you have all, well some of you, have been waiting for; what is the modestic Single of the Year 2003? It is entirely predictable, I must admit…

But first: some VERY IMPORTANT NEWS!!! - Season one of the legendary Press Gang is out on DVD on January 19th. The first Season includes such classics as the one with Adrian Edmondson as a teacher unable to keep control of the class, which proves he is more than just Vivian or Eddie, and the two with Sadie Frost in. Even though there are no extras (some are planned for future releases, but for various reasons were unable to be on Season one’s DVDs) at £14.99 from play.com, and is an essential purchase.

The Ghears & Snow Patrol

So, there’s a venue about a ¼ of an hour walk from me, and how often do I go there? Hardly ever. I think I’ve been there twice, maybe three times. The last time was when Serafin were supposed to play, but cancelled. At the last minute. Anyhow, digressions…

For the first time in four years, I got to saunter up to the lady on the door and say “We’re on the guest list.” I know it’s sad and posing, but still each time I say it, I still get that thrill running through me, which then fades to one of terror as I think “what if the band are rubbish?”

We walk in halfway through the first support band, the name of which escapes me. Their songs were rubbish, but the singer had a terrific voice. The Doubting Thomases. Was that their name?

Then The Ghears come on, and within a minute, I’ve formed the impression that the singer is a strange mutant cross breed between Morrissey, Brian Harvey and Coco the Clown; an impression that intensifies as the gig goes on. His posturing, and manic psychotic stare certainly gave him a great stage presence. At one point, near to the start, he fell to the ground, covering his face with his arms. They certainly did impress, though. Their particular brand of rock had an edge to it, a loud, energetic racket which had me nodding along ever more as they progressed. One song that particularly stood out in my mind was called My Heads on Fire, which in my view was good enough to be a Pixies b-side (yes, this is a compliment; this is a high compliment). The only trouble was that at too many times, the vocals were rather drowned out by the rest of the band. It all ended, far too soon it seemeed, with a loud cacophonic wall of sound. Rubbish? Not only your nelly! This lot deserve to be bigger than they are. Rating: caterpillar.

Then it’s Snow Patrol, a band of whom I know very little. I had heard one of their early albums, which they entirely ignored, in favour of a set almost entirely consisting of new material. Highlight were their new single, the name of which I cannot for the life of me remember, and ironically enough, their very first single, Starfighter Pilot. Rating: ounce.

L’age D’or du Pop

First of all, even getting there was a nightmare. I left just over 2 hours before I needed to be there ‘cos I thought that would be plenty. Oh, foolish boy. I failed to consider that it would be this day that the entire line between Reading and Paddington goes tits up due to signal problems at Twyford. So instead of a 30 minutes trip to Paddington it was a 75 minute journey to Waterloo.

So, I finally get to Shepherd Bus (central), ‘cos Multimap tells me that Bush Hall is right by it. But could I see it anywhere? NO! Could I eckerslike! That's only cos MultiMap (pah!) told me it was about 1/3 of a mile away from where it should have been. So, with just five minute to go 'til 6.30 when Tender Trap are on, I'm running through Shepherd Bush to get to the venue, which I only know how to find 'cos I had to ask a traffic warden. I get there, and the Trap are not yet on stage, I stumble breathless to the bar and order a JD & Coke and who are stood next to me? Yup. The Trap. I should have asked them there and then for a wombat picture, but failed to do so. (A pattern which would continually repeat itself throughout the evening).

So, I hauled myself into the hall and plonk myself down in a chair next to my friends and minutes later, Tender Trap are on stage. It was a set of mainly new songs, we had Fahrenheit 451, Inuit Beauty Queen, Up & Down (at least I think that's what it was called), Talk in Song, one which I didn't get the title of, the fantastic Face of 73, the next single Como te Llamas?, and ending on that Christmas one that was on the compilation last year. It was a very, very cool set, and it was good to hear the new material, which is very much as great as the old stuff (but then was this ever in any doubt?). As ever, Amelia’s voice is wondrously breathtakingly beautiful. The set was far too short, in that at some point it had to come to an end, but what we had was simply brilliant, only going to prove once more that Tender Trap are currently, still, the best band around. Rating (cos this isn’t a foregone conclusion): wombat.

The night progressed, and we had The Aluminum Group who were like a cross between early Bare Naked Ladies and The Divine Comedy. Club 8 impressed, with their ethereal vocals. I must check them out more. And last was Clientelle, who were again very good.

The whole evening restored my faith in good music; it's out there, just maybe you need to search a little. I have got so out of touch with this world, and I need to get back in. Three groups I'd never heard a single note by, yet all impressing greatly.

Suede

There was a point, mid afternoon, stood outside the Brixton Academy, when the queue to the gig suddenly changed from being a pile of discrete, separate groups, to being one huge, homogenous group. Maybe it was the booze – various concoctions, a strange Finnish brew, neat whiskey and so on – but we became one. And we talked of nonsense, and I handed out a million flyers (I wonder how many of you are reading this…?). Then about half the band walked past, and were of course besieged. Not Bert, though. For a while, I wished I had the wombat with me.

And we were let in, and the rush to the front. Oh, yes, there’s space. And I grabbed on didn’t move. The first support band were so memorable I can’t even recall their name, Ambulance or Ambience or sommat. Razorlight were the second, though, and pretty good.

But, pah, supports. Bert and co. That’s what we’re there for.

For a while, back in 1993, I could have been a huge Suede fan. I got the early singles on CD, I got the first album, played it a huge number of times. It spoke to me, somehow I identified with it. There was just that special thing about the songs on it that made me adore it. It clicked so perfectly with me. Then came the second, and neither the singles nor the NME flexi clicked at all, and I kinda drifted away from them, only returning for the occasional single, Trash, Saturday Night and so on. I still loved that first album, though. Even now there’s probably still a place for it in my All Time Top Ten Albums Of All Time. But I digress…

And they come on stage. Introducing the band. Within seconds I think that it is such a crying shame they are ending it all. It seems way too soon, and they seem in such great form. Animal Nitrate has the crowd in rapture, some say (well, I say) their finest moment. Brett has us all eating out of the palm of his hand – a hand I touch as he later walks down in front of the crowd by the barriers reaching out to us as we reach to him. This is a band at the height of their powers. Maybe it’s best to end on a high, let us remember them as a truly great band, rather than one that used to be great, but went rubbish. But then would they have gone rubbish? Oh, I dunno. We get a lot of the greatest hits here tonight, Metal Mickey, Trash, She’s in Fashion, Beautiful Ones, So Young and so on. I was particularly chuffed to hear them play the wonderful Pantomime Horse, which in my mind is one of the highlights off their debut. I really didn’t expect it; a very pleasurable surprise though. For an hour and a half or so, I am in love with Brett Anderson once again. Swaggering around the stage as if he owns the place; he owns us, at least. It doesn’t even matter that they don’t play The Drowners. This is a gig as it should be done. Everything about it is just so right. Meaning that, really, this too is a foregone conclusion… Rating: wombat.

(Oh, if only I could have gone to the Astoria the following day…)

Ed Harcourt

For Ed’s Christmas Bash at the Bush Hall, we get no support at all. Instead we get two sets from the man himself, an acoustic set and a full band set. And it’s hard for me to say which I preferred.

He starts off with acoustic, for most of which he is on the grand piano which is a permanent fixture of the Bush Hall. He really punishes the thing, playing with great gusto and vigour. Although I know few songs, the sheer power of his voice, and the energy of his playing really shines through, culminating in a superb rendition of Apple of my Eye, which in my mind was the night’s high point. Then he shifted up a gear with his second set, the full band set, and he really got into the whole swing of things just that bit more. The crowd loved it. The whole gig was essentially a Christmas Present to his fans, and, well, more people should give gifts like that. Rating: camel.

Single Of The Year 2003

Being a sad scarf wearing anorak, every year I plonk myself down and decide what my Single of the Year was. I did it for Munching Carpet, heck, I did it way back before I even started doing fanzines back in 1987, when The Pogues & Kirtsy MacColl were my first ever Single of the Year. I cold have gone back and decided what previous years were, but never did ‘cos the whole point is that it is Single of the Year at the time, not years later. So, without further ado, I present, the inaugural modestic Single of the Year. Here’s the top 5…

5 – Rachel Stevens: Sweet Dreams My La Ex. Must admit that when I first heard it I thought it was a really dreary way for her to start a solo career, but the more I heard it the more it wormed its way into my head, and the more I found myself loving it.

4 – Electric Six: Gay Bar. Yah, sod it, it’s a novelty record, but who cares? It’s fun. Simply roaming around the Reading Festival, drunk, and singing (or rather squaking) at complete strangers “I’ve got something to put in you” is enough to warrant its inclusion.

3 – tatu: All The Things She Said. Forget about the lezzing up in the video, and the schoolgirl outfits and that they’re not really lesbians and have boyfriends, All The Things She Said is simply a slice of pure pop wondrousness. It sounds better in the original Russian and Ya Shosla S Uma, though, in my mind.

2 – Jet Johnson: Donnie. Discovering new bands is one of the great things about doing a fanzine, and this lot are probably the best band to have arrived unannounced through my letterbox since Beulah (oh, where are they now…?). Glorious twee pop. All set to be top, until an old favourite came out of the woodwork and pipped them to the post…

1 – Como te Llamas?: Tender Trap. A fantastic tune, half in English, half in Spanish (the title means “Tell me your name”). It’s yet another 4 minute masterpiece by the band who are, without doubt, the best band around at the mo. I did actually um and ah over whether or not this qualified, as I have heard tell that its official release date is during January 2004, but hey, they were selling it in December 2003 so as far as I’m concerned it qualifies!

Pet Shop Boys; Pop Art – DVD

Essentially, it’s just all their videos lumped together on a DVD. That’s it. But when the songs are as great as these, and when you have people like Derek Jarman in the Directors chair (for It’s A Sin and Rent), you got something special.

For one thing; Neil Tennant is God (and you know it). The ‘Shops are the best at what they do. Shimmery glittery disco pop. They are masters of their art, and this DVD showcases them off so wonderfully. Yeah, there is the occasional duffer along the way, but the hits – and boy have there been HITS – far outweigh them. Even the recent stuff like I Get Along can stand proud against West End Girls, It’s a Sin, Domino Dancing, Being Boring… I could go on, but you get the picture. Yeah, so there was the naff mid-late eighties period, circa Bilingual and the next album (so much impact, I can’t even recall its name; I don’t think I even bought it, coming to think of it), but for every bad song, there’s at least four great ones.

The actual videos themselves range from tacky 80s efforts, through to arty Jarman stuff, early 90s CGI, through to, er, lots of shots of mices hanging around the rails on the London Underground. Generally, the better the song, the better the video, really. I adore the Domino Dancing video, which looks initially like a love triangle between two boys and a girl, but ends with the guys getting together. Jealousy, with the big fight breaking out is simply wonderful. Rating: ocelot.

Cock Up Corner Because mistakes happen…

· I got the date for The Curse of Fatal Death wrong; I said it was 2000, and should have been 1999

If you spot any cock ups in this issue (or any previous issue), just e-mail me, and I’ll pop it in the next Cock Up Corner…

Randomness and Randomosity

Accrington Stanley Update: The Stan are now out of the FA Cup. After holding Colchester to a draw at home, they were beaten 2-1 on the replay away. Ah well. The Stan are currently 9th place in the Conference, which is not that far off of a play off position… They are 17 points from the top, though, so the chances of being overall champions are rather slim…

Worst Single of 2003: it was a tightly run race, with the Pop Idols massacre of the Lennon song Happy Christmas (War is Over) coming close, oh so very close to being labelled Worst Single of 2003. But in the end the Worst Single of 2003 has to be That Simply Red Song. Truly dire and dreadful.

Final Thought #6: was a line from Emma’s House by The Field Mice. Winner was Al, who already has the prize, so what I'm gonna send him, I don't know... Where is this month’s from?

How Does It Feel To Be Loved on December 19th was ace, despite me still recovering from a work Christmas party the night before, and trying to fight off some nasty virus, a great time was had. Even though only about three people seemed to recognise Christmas Tears… By a strange numerical quirk, about three people complemented me on my t-shirt (a Heavenly on; if you look close at the photos on the website, you might just see it…), but next time I go, I shall eschew Sarah tees in favour of either a Kenickie one or a home made one saying “Neil Tennant is God (and you know it)”. Next HDIF is on February 20th. I really should be there now, rather than typing this. Hopefully I’ll get to it one day. You know, you really should. You’ll have a wonderful time!

Coming in modestic #8: reviw of The Visitation DVD, Press Gang DVD, and some other stuff.

Copyright and all that malarkey…

modestic is © 2003 Ash Stewart. All articles are © to whoever is credited with them. All uncredited items are © Ash Stewart. The address for all correspondence, be it praise, criticism, death threats, missing episode hoaxes, pictures of wombats, articles, anything is this one or alternatively that one...

modestic issue #7 was edited by Ash Stewart and was written by Ash Stewart and Fatso, the wombat.

Thanks to: Infected for the Ghears gig.

This e-zine can be forwarded on to whoever you so wish on the proviso that nothing in it is removed, added to, or altered in any way. In fact I positively encourage you to forward it! If you were forwarded this e-zine by a friend and wish to sign up for it yourself go here.

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Contributions are always welcome for modestic. You can write about exactly what you like. Any subject at all. It does not matter if I agree with what you write or not, if it's well written it goes in. Freedom of speech is one of the cornerstones of modestic, as is change and renewal… Do not feel at all restrained or restricted by the things you have seen so far in modestic; just write about what you know, and It'll slot in seamlessly... Even if what you have in mind is clearly opposite to what I think of something, as long as it's wells written and vaguely coherent, it'll get in

And YES, the ratings system does make sense! So there!

You can chat about this issue of modestic on the message board But you won’t.

You can see old back issues of that old fanzine Munching Carpet, if you are at all interested, here... At present you can see Issues #1-3. Issue #4 was supposed to have been up by now. But isn't. It will be some time. Be patient with me...

Issue 8 of modestic will be e-mailed out on February 24th. And the way I feel tonight it could end up being the last one.

But I'm quite sure it will be even better than this one!

modestic is a free e-zine, for which I have no intention of ever charging. It would be way too much hassle for a start. However, if you should ever feel suitably impressed that you actually want to pay some money for it (not that I think this is at all likely, but stranger things have happened), then you can pay to my PayPal account which is fatso_the_wombat@hotmail.com.

Final thought: oh, what's the bloody point?