Guest Editor; Fatso, the wombat

Strewth, mate. That useless flamin' gallah Ash has only gone and done virtually naff all work on this issue. It's now 19/4, and I've just got a few days to sort out the mess he's left me with! Still, with any luck it'll all come together; we wombats are resourceful critters.

Contributors are still wanted. At the moment, modestic looks like it's meant to be a sci-fi/DVD zine. It ain't. That's just one of many aspects the the zine. Don't for one moment think that the only contributions I'd accept are ones that would slot seamlessly into the previous issues. I want each issue to be different. Too many zines are the same thing month after month. You become predictable, you become boring. Change and renewal and all that.

Enjoy!

Fatso, the wombat. Editor.

London weighting; bollocks more like.

By Ash

I hate London weighting. I hate the entire concept of it. Essentially it goes like this;

If you work in London, you get paid more for your job than someone doing the same job outside of London.

Essentially, people who work outside of London get penalised for not living in the capital. All other grounds for paying people different amounts for the same job - gender, age, disability, orientation, whatever - are illegal as they are discriminatory. Yet this "geographical" discrimination is entirely legal.

The theory behind it runs thus; things are more expensive in London, so to ensure that people who work there are able to afford to live there they must be paid accordingly more to offset the higher cost of living. Fine, in theory.

But because people who live in London are paid more, the higher prices are kept artificially high.

The problem I have is this; why should things cost more in London in the first place? They shouldn't! You may argue that it's the law of supply and demand and that if prices were too high, that people wouldn't pay them. I say it's gross profiteering by charging the absolute maximum that companies can get away with.

This may be an oversimplification, but I truly believe that there should be legislation brought in to ensure that ALL prices of All goods and services (with the exception of house prices, which are a different kettle of potatoes) should be the same all throughout the country. This would then also apply to wages, as the need for a London weighting would be negated.

In theory.

It gets much more complicated when property is brought into the equation. Whereas I believe that prices for goods, commodities, taxes, rent, anything, can be brought into equalisation, house prices are different. Part of a reason for the differing house prices is location. Identical houses, one from a desirable location, one from a not so desirable location could never be equalised in price as they are different beasts. Not like a Mars bar or whatever.

It is a thorny dilemma, and one that I clearly need to contemplate in much more detail.

Next issue; reforming the justice system…

Fatso; ah, ya hypocrite! Remind me again what part of YOUR pay is? Is it an "Outer London Allowance"…? Why don't ya just pay it back to 'em, eh? EH?

Pop Threat Split

Pop Threat, one of the best bands around in recent times, have split. Rather annoyingly, I found this out on the morning of February 24th, mere hours after the first issue of modestic hit in-boxes all over, so this is rather late news.

It all happened on the 9th of January, and involved a gig with The Real Losers, at the Bath Moles Club. The soundcheck was a nightmare, the band couldn't hear a thing on stage, despite whatever adjustments the soundman made. Then, after a chaotic gig, in which the sets of both The Real Losers and Pop Threat were interrupted by equipment failure, poor sound and general drunken shenanigans, things came to a head, and, well without going into all the gory details, the upshot is Pop Threat are no more.

All is not lost, though, The record label they started - Squirrel Records - is still going, and best of all, there is to be a band rising from the ashes of Pop Threat. Provisionally, they are called "The Fuck Yous" and consist of Darren, Mick and Caroline from Pop Threat plus Gary from The Cribs and Gemma from Kavolchy. Should be good. (Mind you I reckon a better name would be "The Wombats"…)

And there is a Pop Threat album on Mook Records, but I've yet to hear it. The final Pop Threat release will be a compilation of all the Squirrel material, plus a handful of "dusty favourites" and a couple of new tracks.

He Used To Give Me Roses… again...

By Ash

Another Prisoner DVD Box Set

Like buses, you wait ages for Prisoner Cell Block H to turn up on DVD, and then 2 box sets turn up! Set 2 contains a further 12 episodes from the how, although this time, the balance is very much in favour of the early years of the show.

One thing that is noticeable straightaway is the almost total lack of extras this time round. On the first of the three DVDs there is an incredibly unimpressive, and small, set of publicity photos. And that's it! Even the (admittedly annoying) chap who did the intros to the first set is gone. Anyhow, this set includes;

Disc 1 - The Beginning.

The first four episodes of the show. It is surprising how many of the show's iconic moments are in this group of episodes. You have Franky wrecking the rec room, Franky telling Miss Bennett her new nickname, Lynne's accident with the steam press, Bea Smith's gift for her husband. All here. These really are a classic group of episodes.

Disc 2 - Great Escapes.

Not such a great selection here. The first episode - Episode 20 - is notable for being Franky Doyle's last episode. That her character made such a lasting impact being in so few (20/692) episodes is a testament to how great she was. By far the best episode on this disc.

Episode 165 is the first bit of the tunnel collapse plotline. The following episode is in the first set. Fairly average fare.

Then there's episode 471 in which Mari Winter escapes, and episode 598 in which Lexi Patterson escapes. Neither great episodes. Billing the Winter one as an escape episode is a bit of a misnomer, as the escape is just a deus ex machina at the end of the episode; it's more about Winter getting revenge on Reb Keane, and all the nonsense with Shane in the storm drain. Shame that they didn't have Sonia & Bobbie's escape, when they meet up with that Sydney based crime boss…

Disc 3 - On The Inside

First is a pair of episodes in which the Prisoners, led by Sandy Edwards, riot. It's a typical riot really, but is handled quite well. The only shame is that Bea Smith is sidelined in hospital, and only plays a peripheral role in things. We could also have done with the next episode as well, as although it claims to be relatively self contained, there is clearly more to come.

The next two episodes are very strong Rita Connors episodes. First is 588 which is her debut episode. Right from the moment she is inducted - by the Freak - you know that she is going to be something special. Within seconds of meeting The Freak they are at each other's throats. This is the episode when PCBH found its feet again. After such a long time wandering aimlessly, the prison finally found a worthy Top Dog to succeed Bea Smith.

Then 667 with the Blackmoor riot. Rita has been shipped to Blackmoor - courtesy of a Freak plot, natch - but it's an evil place, run by an Evil Bastard more Evil than The Freak, so she starts a riot. The Evil Bastard in question being the sadistic governer, Ernest Craven, played gleefully over the top by the fantastic Ray Meagher (who really, truly, is wasted in Home & Away these days…).

Picture quality again is variable. There are times when the picture looks perfect, and others where there is severe MPEG artefacting. There are also occasional tape dropouts visible. Oh, for a PCBH Tesh Group… Still, they're better than any off-air VHSs you may have, and the brilliance of the Franky and Rita episodes more than makes up for the averageness of some of the others.

Rating; kangaroo.

So. Now we have out DVDs of Prisoner CBH, The Flying Doctors, The Sullivans and Neighbours. It's gotta be just a matter of time before we get a shiny DVD box set of the best of A Country Practice…

Short reviews of books I have read on the train since the last issue

By Ash

Exactly what it says on the tin! Michael Moore's Stupid White Men is really quite a scary read. Whether all the allegations in it are true or not is debatable (and I'm sure there is a degree of hyperbole in there) but the stuff about how Dubya rigged the election is frightening. And completely believable.

I would not have bought Rumours of a Hurricane by Tim Lott had I just seen the paperback; the blurb on the hardback was much more enticing… ROAH is essentially Our Friends In The North lite, set in London, during the Thatcher years. It's not a bad book, just nothing great. Liked it enough to buy his first novel, though;

White City Blue is better, though. It's all about how friends change as they grow up "What became of the people we used to be?" as the song goes. The four friends are really well characterised, and you really come to care about them. Well, almost all of them.

I Lucifer by Glen Duncan is all about what happens when God gives Lucifer a month as a mortal in order for him to repent his soul. Or something. It starts off really well - I particularly like the various Biblical and historical events retold from Lucifer's point of view - and develops into something quite different to what I anticipated. Seeing Lucifer brag about his doings is rather chilling, but the climax of the novel… Oh, boy… [That the name of the person who Lucifer is given control - Declan Gunn - is an anagram of the author of the book is surely quite telling…]

Norweigan Wood by Haruki Murakami is, to my knowledge, the first ever translated novel I have ever read. I'm sure there are things in there that haven't translated as well as they could have; for one I'm still none the wiser about all this "winding his spring" malarkey. It's ostensibly a love story, but a rather twisted one with suicides all over the place. One moment it makes you delightedly happy, and the next sends you into a pit of despair. Like real life, then…

Molly & Brendan by Suzanne Hawley tells the story of how Brendan Jones and Molly Smithers got together in the days prior to their arrival in Wandin Valley. It's a very odd book. There's only 173 pages, but 38 chapters, so some chapters are little more than a page which makes for a most disconcerting read. As well as that, the authors habit of having scene changes halfway through a paragraph does confuse. M&B is by no means a great book - that it is so highly sought by A Country Practice fans is more due to its rarity than anything else - but, aforementioned niggles aside, it is a decent enough read. Characterisation of the leads is spot on; you can just picture Shane Withington and Anne Tenney speaking their lines. But it is too short. Brendan doesn't appear until way too long into the book (and during his first appearance, and thus first meeting with Molly, you don't actually know it's him; at least until a couple of pages after…), and once they do meet and do get together, the book is over way too quick.

Next month; a Dennis Potter Biography or two...

BBC Software. A Retrospective.

By Chris Arnsby

Back in 1983 the BBC decided to capitalise on the home computer boom which had taken place since the release of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum computer in 1982. Over the next three years it released -or in the case of some titles attempted to release - games based on a number of its programmes. However, in spite of some technically impressive software and a number of overwhelmingly positive reviews the company was never a success and the software line was discontinued in 1986. Most BBC Software titles have been unavailable for almost twenty years and it is only now with the rise of hundreds of websites dedicated to the Spectrum that BBC Software games can once again be downloaded from the internet and played.

The World at War (1983) Price £5.95

This, along with The Borgias marked the launch of the BBC Software range. The World at War was a documentary series made in 1973 for Thames television but by 1983 the BBC had bought the rights to the series and decided to release a game based on this acclaimed programme...

An ambitious text adventure that allowed the player take part in every major campaign of the Second World War, The World at War achieved generally positive reviews although, as many magazines pointed out, a text adventure was hardly the best format for this subject - the game was also criticised for its constant misspelling of the name of General De Gaulle as can be seen in the above screenshot from a review in the magazine Sinclair User (issue 25, page 74).

The Borgias (1983) Price £5.95

The second of the two launch titles, The Borgias, was a platform-game loosely based on the BBC's infamous 1981 television series. Average reviews insured that the game was only a moderate success. With it's first two titles the range was off to a less that perfect start.

Match of the Day (1984) Price £9.95

This was a reasonable football game however, in an attempt to recoup money lost due to software piracy BBC Software doubled the price of their games to £9.95 - at a time when most games were retailing for six to seven pounds - and the game did not sell well.

David Attenborough's Wildlife on One (1984) Unreleased.

This was the game that marked the beginning of the end for the BBC Software range. Some very positive previews built up a strong level of anticipation for this arcade adventure game set in a wide variety of different locations. A series of excellent reviews followed (such as the one from the magazine Crash (issue 6 page 25) shown left) but just days before it was due to go on sale David Attenborough issued a writ which blocked the game's release on the grounds that he had not given permission for his name and likeness to be used on the game. A lengthy legal dispute followed and the BBC was forced to recall all copies of the game from the distributor. Despite this legal block a few copies did make their way into the shops - an original, boxed copy was recently sold on eBay for almost fifty pounds.

Doctor Who Goes Skiing (1985), Doctor Who and the Spiders (1985) both priced £9.95, Hungry Doctor Who (unreleased).

A game based on the BBC's long running science fiction series had been on the cards from the very start of BBC Software's existence. In the wake of the Attenborough debacle the BBC licensed the rights to three old Psion Computers games -Hungry Horace, Horace and the Spiders and Horace Goes Skiing- and updated the software in the hope the a cheap success would put the company back on the right tracks. However the software update consisted of nothing but the addition of an admittedly impressive (for the time) digitised picture of then Doctor, Colin Baker; see the game's loading screen (above) and in-game picture (right). Few people were interested in paying nearly ten pounds for what was effectively a three year old game and neither Doctor Who Goes Skiing or Doctor Who and the Spiders was a success. A third game Hungry Doctor Who (a Pacman style maze game) was blocked on the orders of Colin Baker's agent and with the second non-release of a title in just over a year the BBC wound up its software arm for good.

Film 23

Bowling for Columbine

Yeah, I know, for a cinema review this is more than a little late in the day, but hey, I only saw the thing this Sunday just gone…

BFC is writer Michael Moore's documentary about gun culture in America. Reviewing it is a tricky thing to do as I could just endlessly repeat the stuff said in the film, but that would be pointless. I could analyse his arguments, but that would mean going from my inexact memory; I'd kinda like a copy of the DVD - out on May 12th - to had to ensure that when I quote, I quote correctly.

It is a very thought provoking film. Its critics will no doubt - and I believe they already have - pick it to pieces and highlight inaccuracies and bias. But you show me one documentary in the whole world that is not biased. You can't. A documentary sets out to prove a point, and will use any and all arguments it can to support that point. I have little doubt that should the NRA so choose they could make a perfectly eloquent documentary showing the opposing viewpoint.

BFC is in places a little Brass Eye like. Some of the questions Moore asks, you could just see tripping off the tongue of Chris Morris.

The people in this film that come off best are those who right-wing America blame for the ills of society. Matt Stone (co-creator of South Park) and Mariliyn Manson both speak with great sense and judgement. Charlton Heston, actor and President of the National Rifle Association, looks like a complete twat however. Unable to account for the NRA's habit of holding rallies in towns soon after shootings, he comes across as arrogant at worst, naïve at best.

Hey, maybe this could serve as a DVD review also. I've just noticed that the R2 DVD is essentially vanilla - with just a trailer as an extra… Go out and buy this film.

Rating: marmoset.

Random thoughts from the mind of a wombat…

A fanzine you should buy - Spilt Milkshake #3. Absolutely brilliant, it is. Packed with all sorts of stuff. Reviews of gigs/CDs/singles etc, poetry, fiction, how crap Dubya is, anti-capitalism. It really is everything a fanzine should be. Anger, happiness, spite, joy and venom wrapped up in an a5 parcel. In typical me fashion, I can't find the bit of paper that tells me how much it is, so if you e-mail Bec at miss_annthrope@angelfire.com and she'll tell you all you need to know!

Charidy - Those charity clipboard people really get on my goat! They lie in wait for you, and just when you think you've escaped, they pounce. And you always feel guilty for saying "no". Even though you know that you cannot possibly say "yes" to them all as you'd go bankrupt. I'm sure they are by no means the best way to collect money for charity. For one thing, they earn something like £7.50-£8 an hour, and are expected to recruit just 2 people a day. That can't be cost effective? Surely if you paid someone that money to rattle a tin you'd get more.

The Bill - Keep watching The Bill in the next few weeks, the legend that is Stefan Dennis is putting in an appearance or two.

'Stenders - And watch Eastenders also; a new regular, some sort of crime boss type, is played by Hywel Bennnet.

Five Doctors - I should really have done a proper review of the American Five Doctors DVD. But there's no time, so It'll just be this little mini effort. Essentially, Five Doctors is a fun romp to celebrate 20 years of the programme, nothing more, nothing less. The absence of Tom for the vast majority of the thing doesn't hurt too much, and Richard Hurndall does an acceptable imitation of Hartnell. And Troughton... It's got Troughton in, so in my eyes that makes it an essential purchase. From his first scene he slips effortlessly back into the role. Quite brilliant. So which should you buy, Region 2 or Region 2; well it's gotta be Region 1, hasn't it? After all, R1 as an extra extra in the shape of a commentary from writer Terrance Dicks, and actor Peter Davison. The commentary is an absolute hoot, both funny and informative, going into the various reasons why the story ended up the way it did, and why the Daleks, or rather, Dalek, is in it so little. Best commentary I've heard, I reckon. Terrance going on about timelord urinals and "Eric Saward and his bloody Cybermen...", and Peter is just rapidly becoming my favourite of the Dr Who commentators as unlike others, he doesn't take the whole thing too seriously. Rating; ferret.

The Stan - And in what is probably the most exciting piece of news this issue, the legendary Accrington Stanley have been promoted to the National Conference. YOU LITTLE BEAUTIES!!!

Enterprise

By Ash

Dear God, the latest Star Trek effort is a pile of old pap! I mean it's just so average. Instead of doing something different with the whole Star Trek thing, it's all just more of the same. Which is a crying shame, as most of the actual characters in the thing are pretty good, with the potential to be as well liked and popular as Kirk and Picard's crews. It's just a shame that week in and week out, they are given such bland, dull , and frankly average scripts. Of the episodes I've seen, a few have stood out above the average, though;

Shuttlepod One is a rather enjoyable one, in which Trip and Malcolm get stuck on a damaged shuttlepod with only enough life support to last a few days. Coupled with this, they've just seen the Enterprise crashed, completely destroyed, on an asteroid. Despite that we know the Enterprise hasn't been destroyed - they never do explain exactly what the wreckage on the asteroid was - and that we just know that they're going to survive, it really is a most engaging episode.

Detained features a guest appearance by Dean Stockwell. Ah, it was so good to see him again, and seeing this episode brought back memories of some other show that he appeared in with Scott Bakula… It's an allegorical tale, this one, with Archer finding himself in an internment camp housing a number of Suliban. These Suliban are being held there "for their own safety" in case they are member of the Cabal (an evil genetically enhanced Suliban group).

Best one I've seen, though is the both hilarious and touchingly poignant A Night In Sickbay. This one had me in tears, both of laughter and sadness. Laughter at Archer's reaction to the aliens' demands of protocol and etiquette, sadness as Porthos gets sicker and sicker.

(Looking forward to next weeks, though, Cogenitor. The premise of the episode sounds like a bad Season 1 Next Generation effort, but one of the guest stars is a certain Andreas Katsulas…)

Enterprise could be really good, though. Apparently Season 3 will see a big change in things. Maybe this will be the Temporal Cold War kicking into action. And I'm sure that this TCW will cause much havoc with the timelines and thus continuinty (heck, it's the Borg - who humanity NEVER encountered until Q flung Jean Luc and co into their path 200 years or so after Enterprise - in a couple of weeks).

And I have a sneaky suspicion that the final episode of Enterprise will centre around the end of the Temporal Cold War, and how Archer has to put the - by now shot to buggery - timeline straight, so that history runs its natural path. I feel sure that the upshot of this is that the episodes biggest, and most central twist, is that in the "real history", Enterprise NX-01 was in fact destroyed hours into her maiden voyage, and that everything that has happened in the seven years of Enterprise is merely a Temporal Cold War by-product. Archer will thus sacrifice himself and his crew for the sake of time…

[Late update; there's now a fourth I like, Carbon Creek, the one with the three Vulcans who crashland on Earth in the fifties. I can't help but notice that of the four I like, three are atypical examples of Star Trek, in that they feature neither crap spacial anomalies, or dodgy lumpy forehead aliens.]

Time, if he could travel time…

By Ash

Enterprise has made me revisit a superior Scott Bakula show. Quantum Leap. I had forgotten just how great this show was. It's one of those rare beasties that within its format can do out and out comedy, as well as deadly serious drama.

I just adore the concept; bloke leaping though time, limited to time travel within his own lifetime, puts right what once went wrong. Ably assisted by a hologram from the future that only Sam can see and hear. But what leaps him through time? Is it God, fate, time itself, or Sam? And when he leaps, is it his mind or body that leaps? All answered in the end…

The question of whether it is just Sam's mind, or his actual body, is a thorny one. Episodes contradict eachother as to the real answer. I'd like to think it's the former, but most evidence points to the latter. There is a really awful episode in which Sam leaps into the body of a Vietnam veteran in a wheelchair whose legs have been amputated. In the dreadful climactic scene, Sam gets up out of the chair and walks.

But it wasn't always dreadful; in fact it rarely was.

It's hard to pick out examples of great Quantum Leap, not as in the case of Enterprise there are so few rather because there are so many. Several episodes centred around Sam and Al's lives, Sam saves his brother's life, but in the process causes someone else to die. Sam leaps into a young Al, and causes him to die; at least until he sorts things out. The best episode, in my opinion, is the one that closes the second season; MIA.

Sam leaps into a detective, and is told by Al that she is there to ensure that he stops a young woman, Beth, from getting together with a man she is just about to meet. Her husband is missing in action in Vietnam, and will return in a few years to find that she has married this other man as he was presumed dead. As the episode progresses it becomes clear that Beth's MIA husband is Al, and that Sam is not there to save Al's marriage, but to save another detective's life. It is a truly heartbreaking episode, watching Al go to pieces as he knows that Sam won't be able to save his marriage really tears at your heartstrings. I defy anyone not to have a tear in their eye as the episode ends...

And, like all good things, Quantum Leap had to come to an end, and it ended on a humdinger. Mirror Image is possibly the best "intended" final episode of any TV show ever (except maybe Press Gang). It's full of twists and turns and I feel sure that it genuinely does explain everything. It just doesn't tell you it.

There have recently been a number of rumours about a new series, or a TV movie, of Quantum Leap. Most reports say that Bakula and Stockwell will have little more than cameo appearances, and that the Leaper and Hologram will be played by others. A mistake, I feel. It's not just the concept that made QL so great, it was the actors. QL with different lead characters just wouldn't be the same.

The State I am In

By Ash

It is said by some that a good way to measure the state of a person's mind, and their character is to see what songs they put on compilation tapes/CDs. So with this in mind, I give you the latest compilation CD I made, entitled Fat Hairy Wombats. Draw from it whatever conclusions you like…

"Fat Hairy Wombats"

1 - "Atta Girl", Heavenly
2 - "Don't It Make You Feel Good", Stefan Dennis
3 - "Live It Up", Mental as Anything
4 - "Blue Eyes Deceiving Me", Even As We Speak
5 - "Year of the V-Neck", Elizabeth City State
6 - Track 2 off of The Decline and Fall of Heavenly… : )
7 - "Lights Out In a Provincial Town", Kenickie
8 - "Running Up That Hill", Kate Bush
9 - "Her Jazz", Huggy Bear
10 - "Teenage Angst", Placebo
11 - "D 4th S" (Demo), Pop Threat
12 - "Motorcycle Emptiness", Manic Street Preachers
13 - "Levitate Me", The Pixies
14 - Theme from "A Country Practice"
15 - Theme from "Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads"
16 - "In Dreams", Roy Orbison
17 - "Talulah Gosh", Talulah Gosh
18 - "Cannonball", The Breeders
19 - "Common People" (album version), Pulp
20 - "Panic", The Smiths
21 - "Pictures of You (4.45 edit), The Cure
22 - "Nothing in the world can stop me now!", Professor Zaroff.

Into the Vortex

By Andrew Chisholm

Over the Easter weekend Doctor Who visited Northampton for the first time since they filmed Talons of Weng Chiang. This was Vortex's latest event - and the first convention this scribe had got drunk at since 1996. As well as Doctor Who fans, this event was also catering for Blake's 7 junkies.

Saturday started with me arriving, registering, sitting down in the main hall, getting up again and leaving the building for 90 minutes. I knew that there was going to be a tour of the Royal Theatre. I had decided not to go on this because, having lived in Northampton, I had seen many a play there. But when they announced that Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart himself - Nicholas Courtney - was taking us, I had a quick U-turn of mind.

The Royal Theatre is one of the three left with a Victorian system for moving scenery with hand pulled ropes - which is why it was used in the Talons of Weng Chiang. It was also where Nick Courtney had worked in rep until 1961. He had last acted there in 1965, and this was his first visit for many, many years. He was obviously enjoying his memories as we all walked around. Of interest was that the theatre's photographer had found several pictures if Tom Baker in and around the Theatre in full Talons costume.

By the time we got back I had missed Jacqueline Pearce, but David Maloney was strutting his stuff. Then Nicholas Courtney was on. He did not tell the eyepatch story, but remembered Hartnell as a "Nice Man". Of course there was very little that was not already in the public domain, but it was nevertheless enjoyable to hear the old boy.

Then to the bar - and the first of many, many pints. While there former Doctor Who Magazine editor Gary Gillat told me that he was getting as drunk as possible before he did his one interview of the day.

June Hudson was on after lunch. She is a nice old lady who talks about clothes. Nice was not how you would describe the next guest.

Gary Gillat sat down opposite Anthony Ainley, who of course played The Master throughout the Eighties. Of course we could see this easily from the back, as their images was placed on the monitors on the side of the stage. The opening went something like this:

AA: (looking at the monitor image, which was also relayed to those on stage) "Er, I did not know that this was recorded … that was not part of the terms under which I agreed to come … am I being recorded? … will this recording be used, or sold?"

Gary assured him it was just so folks in the audience could see him. He seemed to accept that. He asked if Clayton Hickman (the current editor of DWM) was in the audience. When Clayton admitted to this, Ainley insisted they joined him. Then he hinted that DWM had said things about him he was not happy with. He then made it clear to them that if there was to be an article based on this interview, he wished to vet it prior to publication. He seemed to have trouble believing that Hickman had no intention of doing that.

Ainley told us of the promotional tours that the then producer of Doctor Who, John Nathan-Turner, got him to go on in the USA. That he was not paid for them and therefore ripped off. After a little more JNT slagging, such as when JNT did not forward him the videos of Roger Delgado, the original Seventies Master, he had promised, Ainley advised us that one should not speak ill of the dead.

Ainley spoke of Roger Delgado - he understood that a signed photo of Delagdo now fetched £300, and wished that his did. Gillat diplomatically pointed out that he would have to be dead, and one would not want that (although, by now, I suspected that Gillat did).

Overall, an interview with a very bad atmosphere. I had heard stories that Ainley was very concerned with money - and that hour proved it. Gary Gillat later admitted to me that it was the most difficult interview he had ever done.

After that we saw features of the forthcoming Blake's 7 DVDs. These do look great, especially one menu that features our old chum Servalan, and nice CGI of the Liberator. Following that was Stewart Bevan (Professor Clifford Jones from the Green Death). Nice guy, not Welsh, went to the bar.

Ye Gods - what a hangover. Sunday morning kicked off Terry Molloy. He came across as a nice guy, much softer spoken than his most famous one-eyed portrayals. It was strange that his interview was between ten and eleven on a Sunday morning. Archers fans had the choice of seeing Terry Molloy on stage, or listening to the weekly omnibus. Terry Molloy has played the one-eyed Mike Tucker in The Archers for thirty years.

Molloy gave us a few secrets about the forthcoming Big Finish audio drama, Davros (his other one-eyed character). I can reveal that there will be some flashback to the time before Davros had his accident - and was in love. A large corporation takes on Davros as a consultant. Davros acts as normal, much to the delight of his employers, leaving a very bemused Doctor.

I am glad we learnt that, as next up was Big Finish 's Jason Heigh Ellery and Caroline Morris (Erimem). Caroline did not have much to say. They attempted to play a preview of something but it would not work. And the rest of the hour consisted of "We have lots of exiting things coming, but we are not going to tell you about it".

Bonnie! Actually she comes across as a very warm person. I think she must have calmed down after becoming a mother.

After a hair of the dog it was the turn of Julian Glover. He seemed to understand that DW had some kind of magic, and attempted to explain it on stage. An interesting revelation was that in "The Crusades" the guys had considered exploiting the relationship between King Richard and his sister - that was a little more, erm, 'close' than it should have been. Of course this was really out of the question. Oh, and Glover considered William Hartnell to be a consummate professional, but as a person "Rather unpleasant".

We had an hour of DW writers, including Paul Cornell. Now Cornell, like Bonnie Langford, pleasantly surprised me. I had made certain suppositions about him through his writing. To my horror I found him cheerful, positive and likeable. Can I ever show my face on an internet forum again?

Last was Colin Baker - the only actual 'Doctor' of the weekend. He is a great raconteur and revealed nothing new. Well, he did fill in a few more plot details about Davros - I hope Jason Heigh Ellery was in the audience. Then an auction, raffle, and it was over, so back to the bar.

On reflection it was certainly a weekend well spent. Bonnie Langford and Paul Cornell had gone up in my estimation, but Anthony Ainley down, being scarier a person than when he was acting as the Master. Will I go to more conventions? Yes, not just for the interviews, but for the chat that went on in the bar. But that is a very different story.

Fatso's Places of Fun on the Modern Interweb

Chameleon Circuit. This place was mentioned last month, but the lummox of an editor put in the wrong address, so it's here again. Get rid of your crap BBC Dr Who DVD covers, and print out some of these beasties instead!

Uncle Clive. Fantastic computer games site. There's a link on there for a game called Super Mario Pac, a cross between Mario and the old Spectrum classic Jet Pac. You MUST download this game.

Wombat Page; lots of cute pictures of wombats. Watch out for the pop ups and shite music, though. You may recognise a couple of the pictures form this issue… Ho-hum…

Coming in Issue #3 of modestic…

(And yes, observant readers might notice that one or two of these were promised for this issue…)

Why Press Gang is the best thing British TV has ever made.
Reforming the justice system.
How to make the perfect action movie.
Why The Underwater Menace is a near perfect Doctor Who story.
The ancient practice of using wombat urine as a medicine. Talons of Weng-Chiang DVD review.
Dalek Invasion of Earth DVD review.
David Lynch Short Films DVD review.
Twin Peaks; some ideas.
A picture of a wombat.
And "much more", including more stuff from readers (hint hint!!!)…

Gratuitous Wombat Picture #2

A Wombat and a Kangaroo

Copyright and all that malarkey…

modestic is © 2003 Ash Stewart. All articles are © to whoever is credited with them. All uncredited items are © Fatso, the wombat. The address for all correspondence, be it praise, criticism, death threats, missing episode hoaxes, pictures of wombats, articles, anything is this one or alternatively that one...

modestic issue #2 was edited by Fatso, the wombat and was written by Fatso, the wombat, Ash Stewart, Chris Arnsby and Andrew Chisholm. This e-zine can be forwarded on to whoever you so wish on the proviso that nothing in it is removed, added to, or altered in any way. In fact I positively encourage you to forward it! If you were forwarded this e-zine by a friend and wish to sign up for it yourself go here.

If you no longer wish to receive this e-zine go here.

Contributions are always welcome for modestic. You can write about exactly what you like. Any subject at all. It does not matter if I agree with what you write or not, if it's well written it goes in. Freedom of speech is one of the cornerstones of modestic, as is change and renewal… Do not feel at all restrained or restricted by the things you have seen so far in modestic; just write about what you know, and It'll slot in seamlessly... And YES, the ratings system does make sense! So there!

You can chat about this issue of modestic on the message board.

You can see old back issues of that old fanzine Munching Carpet, if you are at all interested, here... At present you can see Issues #1-3. Issue #4 was supposed to have been up by now. But isn't. It will be some time. Be patient with me...

Issue 3 of modestic will be e-mailed out on June 23rd. And will be better than this one!

Final thought: I know I've made an obvious mistake...